Team AnchorDesk: Bio -- Jesse Berst

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Jesse 'Do You Wanna Know a Secret?' Berst

Jesse Berst
Editorial Director

“ I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death my right to make fun of your stupidity. ”

Made from 100% natural ingredients, Jesse Berst is a zesty, refreshing alternative to ordinary analysts and one of the world’s most widely known computer commentators. His tangy and deliciously satisfying columns appear in leading magazines in the US, Europe and Asia. Great for special occasions or as an after-dinner treat, Jesse is a popular keynote speaker and moderator at computer conferences and expositions. He has appeared on Good Morning America, CNBC, CNN, CBS Radio News and numerous other television and radio programs. With an average of 37% more industry expertise in every byte-size opinion, Jesse is widely quoted in publications such as The Wall Street Journal, Time, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, The New York Times, and dozens more. He is fully biodegradable and won’t harm most kitchen drains.

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ABOUT

	Staff
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FREQUENTLY
ASKED
QUESTIONS

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TOUR ANCHORDESK
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SUBSCRIPTION
PROBLEMS

Typical Reader	Jesse Berst	Columnist “D”
Heart as big as all outdoors	Ego as big as all outdoors	Waistline as big as all outdoors
Righter of wrongs	Writer of rights	Writer of wrongs
Owes all	Knows all	Hoses all
Talks to God	Talks to Bill Gates (same thing)	Talks to himself
Drinks water	Walks on water (well, thinks he can)	Passes water

INGREDIENTS: 20 years’ industry experience, hefty attitude, ideals (may contain one or more of the following: lofty ideals, moderate ideals, abandoned ideals), cynicism, skepticism, flippancy, riboflavin, guar gum, pyridoxine hydrochloride, modified food starches.

NOTE: Contents under pressure. Point away from face when opening.

Nutrition Facts
Serving Size: 1 story (approx. 15Kb)
Servings per container: approx. 6

Amount Per Serving
% Daily Value*

Calories 0
—

Total Fat 0Kb 0%

Sugar-coating 0Kb 0%

Lean Analysis 13Kb 100%

Rumor 2Kb **

*Percent Daily Values based on a 100-story daily news diet.
**Need in human cognition not established.

JESSE’S FAVORITES

SOFTWARE:
The AnchorDesk authoring database written by our Technical Director, Jon DeKeles

HARDWARE:
Nothing is ever fast enough and powerful enough for me.

MOVIE:
To Catch a Thief

BOOK:
The Wimsey series
—Dorothy Sayers

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